She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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