just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
