mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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