Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
