Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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