It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've blown a few things in my day
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
