is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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