Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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