I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
