Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All the doctor said was why
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
