It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
