Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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