I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
