Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
