Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
