he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
