kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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