Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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