i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
