Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
