You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
