Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
