I wish I could punch you in the face.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
