so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
