And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
