Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
