I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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