Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
