well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
