So drunk its hurt
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
