Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
