the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
