nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize