Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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