i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
