I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
