Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize