i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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