I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
