Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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