I have demons in me.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize