Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Randomize
