my phone needs a breathalizer
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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