Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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