i barfeds in our rink
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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