I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
