it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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