The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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