it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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