You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
