I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
