the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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