At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
