With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
