Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
