i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
