6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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