Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
