You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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