Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
