i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
