Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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